As I mentioned back in December, when I embarked on my quest for Final Fantasy XIII Elixir, Japan is no stranger to novelty tie-in beverages. The last one, a delightful fizzy liquid that I consumed no less than twenty cans of (my favorite concoction comprising Elixir mixed with Suntory Old whisky to make Megalixir), finished its run on Japanese grocery store shelves in March.
Now, months later, delightful beasts Suntory, bolstered by success and not willing to rest on their one-Final Fantasy-every-handful-of-years laurels, has decided to up their game by unleashing the weapons Japan is most vulnerable to: Dragon Quest and cuteness, a big fat round ball of cute and I ain't talkin' Kirby:
It's Dragon Quest Torutoru Slime (translator's note: torutoru means syrupy)! Unlike the Final Fantasy XIII Elixir, some obvious care has been put into the packaging: these puppies are made from glass and tapered in that distinctive slime shape. There are two types at work here, likely corresponding to two of the enemy slimes: slime and she-slime, the blue and orange slimes respectively. The bottles are wrapped with colored, semi-translucent plastic—the liquid itself is clear. (If you want to see a father get slapped in the face with a head-sized slime, watch the commercial at Suntory's site.
Two variations approach! They are cutely named after Dragon Quest magic spells: the blue one is Hoimi Cider flavor (!?) and the orange one is Mera Tropical flavor (!!)!! The respective counterparts to these names would be Heal Cider and Frizz Tropical, meaning they would either replenish your hit points or light you on fire. After I toted my 180mL treasures home (about six ounces each, pretty small), I got to twisting those colorful tops.
The beverage itself in both cases is actually non-carbonated, and both of them command quite a sweet aroma. The Final Fantasy Elixir was a fizzy, light, crisp drink, and Syrupy Slime is, well, none of those things. True to its name, this gloop is thick, and I can almost imagine gruesomely drinking one of the game's slimes down and having it feel exactly like this. The cider flavor is quite similar to that of the popular Japanese cider soft drink: a hint of pineapple, perhaps a little lemon, and sweet but subdued. A bit... sterile, if you will. The tropical flavor commands much more braggadocio, a real cock of the walk—the sweet, thick mango flavor of this one is almost aggressive! There is also an undercurrent of orange, with the slightly tart aftertaste of citric acid. The orange is definitely the better of the two flavors here, though I prefer the classic looks of the blue slime. Collector's conspiracy? Nah. What'll really have the kids gulping down this glopsludge is this:
That's right, every bottle contains a special "color code" for use in the upcoming Wii game Dragon Quest Monsters: Battle Road Victory. Through the use of a handy DSiWare application (200 points, Japan only), you can scan these barcodes in, and then transfer them wirelessly to your Wii, where they will unlock some special sorts of in-game items. The kids already huddle around the arcade versions with the massively oversized sword controllers in the arcades. Now you can have your own home version! They are even selling the same massively oversized controllers for home use, only a hundred and sixty bucks!
In conclusion, if you're down with spending inordinate amounts of money on gaming goods of dubious utility and questionable value—and who isn't—certain import stores are selling the drink at $13.90 a bottle, a mere 474% over its Japanese retail price of Â¥260 (about $2.93). But for another twenty bucks you could just go ahead and buy Dragon Quest IX, which would likely make for a much more attractive (but far less fruity) purchase. Brandon used Frizz!
Now, months later, delightful beasts Suntory, bolstered by success and not willing to rest on their one-Final Fantasy-every-handful-of-years laurels, has decided to up their game by unleashing the weapons Japan is most vulnerable to: Dragon Quest and cuteness, a big fat round ball of cute and I ain't talkin' Kirby:
It's Dragon Quest Torutoru Slime (translator's note: torutoru means syrupy)! Unlike the Final Fantasy XIII Elixir, some obvious care has been put into the packaging: these puppies are made from glass and tapered in that distinctive slime shape. There are two types at work here, likely corresponding to two of the enemy slimes: slime and she-slime, the blue and orange slimes respectively. The bottles are wrapped with colored, semi-translucent plastic—the liquid itself is clear. (If you want to see a father get slapped in the face with a head-sized slime, watch the commercial at Suntory's site.
Two variations approach! They are cutely named after Dragon Quest magic spells: the blue one is Hoimi Cider flavor (!?) and the orange one is Mera Tropical flavor (!!)!! The respective counterparts to these names would be Heal Cider and Frizz Tropical, meaning they would either replenish your hit points or light you on fire. After I toted my 180mL treasures home (about six ounces each, pretty small), I got to twisting those colorful tops.
The beverage itself in both cases is actually non-carbonated, and both of them command quite a sweet aroma. The Final Fantasy Elixir was a fizzy, light, crisp drink, and Syrupy Slime is, well, none of those things. True to its name, this gloop is thick, and I can almost imagine gruesomely drinking one of the game's slimes down and having it feel exactly like this. The cider flavor is quite similar to that of the popular Japanese cider soft drink: a hint of pineapple, perhaps a little lemon, and sweet but subdued. A bit... sterile, if you will. The tropical flavor commands much more braggadocio, a real cock of the walk—the sweet, thick mango flavor of this one is almost aggressive! There is also an undercurrent of orange, with the slightly tart aftertaste of citric acid. The orange is definitely the better of the two flavors here, though I prefer the classic looks of the blue slime. Collector's conspiracy? Nah. What'll really have the kids gulping down this glopsludge is this:
That's right, every bottle contains a special "color code" for use in the upcoming Wii game Dragon Quest Monsters: Battle Road Victory. Through the use of a handy DSiWare application (200 points, Japan only), you can scan these barcodes in, and then transfer them wirelessly to your Wii, where they will unlock some special sorts of in-game items. The kids already huddle around the arcade versions with the massively oversized sword controllers in the arcades. Now you can have your own home version! They are even selling the same massively oversized controllers for home use, only a hundred and sixty bucks!
In conclusion, if you're down with spending inordinate amounts of money on gaming goods of dubious utility and questionable value—and who isn't—certain import stores are selling the drink at $13.90 a bottle, a mere 474% over its Japanese retail price of Â¥260 (about $2.93). But for another twenty bucks you could just go ahead and buy Dragon Quest IX, which would likely make for a much more attractive (but far less fruity) purchase. Brandon used Frizz!