"It's like, for me, Christmas-time really isn't here after all," one local man told The Press reporters last weekend, after discovering that the "Linux" option offered on Sony's PlayStation 3 video game console actually has nothing to do with the Peanuts comic strip. "He carries his blanket around, he always speaks up at the right times... Linux would have really helped out as part of the PS3," the man added.


Due to some grammatical confusion, many disappointed consumers are coming to stark, cold realizations this holiday season: the PlayStation 3 systems they thought included "Linux" do not in any way offer a way to relate to or engage in conversation with the famous, blue-blanketed character created by Charles M. Schulz. Despite being a long-time companion for his friend Charlie Brown, the stoic child does not in any way make an appearance in the system software presented by Sony—or offer any companionship for its users.

"It's a real disappointment," said 58-year-old Lucille van Pelt, who declined to speak with The Press using her real name. "I gave psychiatric evaluations and saved nickels all winter to buy my husband a PlayStation 3 specifically because of the Linux option. I used to love that guy. He's a bit of a wuss when it comes to dealing with Lucy, but still a good kid."

Feelings were mixed when reporters from The Press mentioned that "Linus," not Linux, was the name of the famous Peanuts character.

"What, really? Are you sure? That is pretty crummy," Ms. Pelt commented. "Sony needs to get their act together and make that whole thing a little more clear. If they can't give us Linus, like they promised, they had ought to just take it all out. This whole thing makes me wanna slug someone."

Sony responded positively to The Press reporters, mentioning that this is an issue they'd love to resolve with a future firmware update.