Kid Icarus Uprising is a game I was looking forward to. While it was in development, I read every scrap of info dribbled to the press. I watched the silly promo cartoons downloadable on the 3DS. It is a game that I pre-ordered and awaited the delivery of with impatience. It is a game, I'm frustrated to admit, that I tried and failed to play.

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You see, I just so happen to be left-handed...

When Nintendo designed the 3DS, it maintained the traditional status quo of directional controls on the left and buttons on the right. Consoles had been dual analog for a while, but not so for handhelds. After all, dual analog isn't absolutely necessary. However, a consideration in favor of a symmetrical control scheme is to accommodate people who have a single dominant hand, be it right or left. This is especially useful if you insist on putting together a crazy-ass stylus/circle pad control scheme that is less than friendly towards us southpaws.

Sure, sure, there's a left-handed option in Kid Icarus Uprising. The controls are fully customizable. But you can't customize a Circle Pad that's not there and the right-side buttons are a lousy substitute for the directional pad. They are neither shaped nor spaced to accommodate diagonal movement nor is my right hand accustomed to moving the character. I tried to make it work though, oh boy did I ever try.

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The left-hand option worked out worse than trying to use the stylus in my right hand. I barely managed to play up to the first boss on a very low difficulty. Then I thought about using a thumb strap stylus on my right hand instead. Problem was, I didn't have my old thumb nub anymore, so I made one. I actually sculpted a thumb stylus out of FIMO clay and the tip of a glove. That didn't work out either. My hands are quite small and I couldn't comfortably stretch my thumb out far enough to reach across the entire screen. Plus, the accuracy left something to be desired. At this point, I'm seriously contemplating the purchase of a Circle Pad Pro. Like most people, I've used dual analog controls and my right hand is just fine manipulating a thumb stick. I can't justify spending from twenty to thirty bucks on a peripheral I'd probably use for just one game though!

Even some right-handed players have complained about Kid Icarus's controls, noting that it's hard to play while holding the system without their hands cramping up. Regardless of what hand I used, I could only play while using the little stand Nintendo helpfully included, tacit acknowledgment that the set-up can be problematic for some. Alas, the stand alone doesn't solve my primary complaint.

At some unspecified point in the future I plan to try training myself to use the stylus with my right hand, or maybe buy the CPP, but frankly my enthusiasm has waned due to the experience. I'll get around to it later, maybe. Honestly, I had never given the 3DS' lack of a second Circle Pad a thought before, but now that the problem has hit home I'm giving Nintendo and the Kid Icarus dev team a left-handed middle finger.