You know, it's easy to forget, in these godlessly offensive modern days, how bad gamers actually used to have it when it came to console launches. The Wii U is gonna launch with twenty-three games, many of which co-exist as major installments of bigtime franchises happily among the piles of worthless spew-ware. A new Mario? Ninja Gaiden, Assassin's Creed, Tekken, Black Ops 2, Darksiders, Batman? No man could even play all these damned things with any amount of timeliness. Who needs it!

Alas, to say that the Wii U launch lineup is fantastic would seem mostly to be preaching to a choir that has been singing its praises for a while now. I can't say I've heard too much poo-pooing going on when it comes on down to it. What the lineup really got me curious about was the initial launches of systems back in the day—most specifically, their Japanese releases. And let me tell you, they were generally Not Pretty.

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But why Japan? Well, mostly because when the systems of the 8- and 16-bit eras launched originally in Japan, the only games that existed were the ones that were available, whereas upon the American releases game companies had more extant library titles to pull from and alter to their own tastes in the name of a good launch. In the name of this diggin' I most concerned myself with those early days, when on the wings of a prayer Sega and Nintendo asked their fans to support their systems with nothing more than tiny, tiny loogies hawked from way up on high. So let's have a look at the three biggest systems of our era!

Nintendo's Famicom

The Famicom came out on July 15, 1983, with a whopping three games, all of them arcade conversions: Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., and Popeye! Though Donkey Kong's a classic in its own right now, and the novelty of playing it at home was likely enough to satisfy gamers, when you consider that the only two other games available were similar single-screen arcade ports it's easy to see how things might have gotten a bit monotonous. How were early adopters rewarded for their patience? A month later they got a mah-jong game and a reversi game, in September another arcade port (Mario Bros.), and later two edutainment games! The first third-party game came out an entire year later, while the system meandered around with arcade ports from Namco and Konami for a while. It's no surprise that a lot of people consider the real Famicom era to have begun with Super Mario Bros. two years later in September of 1985. "great launch"

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Sega's Mega Drive

Though the launch line-up of the the American Genesis (renamed from Mega Drive in the States cause of some derps) was fairly strong due to a large pool of games to pull from, the Japanese release in October all the way back in 1988 wasn't so fantastic. Much like the Famicom, the thing launched with only arcade ports. Only two games though, Space Harrier II and Super Thunder Blade. A month later they got (oh goodie) the famously-reviled Altered Beast. A year after launch there were but sixteen games for the thing, all but two of them published by Sega themselves. Contrary to wide belief, Sonic wasn't there at launch, or even "launch window"—it came out almost a full three years later, in June of 1991.

Nintendo's Super Famicom

The Super Famicom can be forgiven for its two-game launch because of what those two games were: Super Mario World and F-Zero, both on November 21st, 1990. Markedly different genres, both Nintendo-devved original titles and both now regarded as masterpieces! You could even ignore them if you were enough of a shithead since a mere month later the system enjoyed the kinda "real launch" with Actraiser, Populous, Pilotwings, Gradius III, and Final Fight all dropping in the same week. Then it was basically a bunch of crap for seven months, Final Fantasy IV, more craps, and then Zelda at Christmas. Verdict: Hump-worthy

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In conclusion, boy it sure was something playing games back then huh. I guess the fact that there was virtually nothing available ensured at least that early buyers had something to talk about, and not somethings. HA!!! jeez