Leave it to hardware speculation to drag my ass outta retirement... A trio of new patents published today (1, 2, and 3) and dug up by a guy on NeoGAF named Disorientator have seemingly fully detailed the fundamental tricks and functionality of the forthcoming NX—and it’s only a little bit what everyone speculated. Keep in mind that everything I talk about in this article has been gleaned specifically from these (and previous) patents. Just because something is patented doesn't mean it will be used, or that it's going to really be exactly what happens. This is just one Nintendo superfan's best-educated...

I tried to write something eloquent here, and found that I just don't have the words. So here are some pictures of us as children, with the man who embodied everything that could possibly be right about how to make video games, how to value a team of artists and visionaries, and how to inspire impressionable boys and girls to make stupid websites like this one. He will never be replaced.

I swear it's coincidence, but N-Sider seems to echo Nintendo's strategies more often than not. Similarities between the 2013 Wii U lineup and our editorial output are easy to make! Ha ha it's because neither of them exist. Oh man. I'm starting to find that when it comes to hobbies, it's best not to push them. When an enjoyable outlet starts to feel more like a responsibility, it's time to take a step back. Brandon was carrying the site pretty much all by himself for a looong time there, and that's something a person can only keep up for so long. I've been torturing myself mentally for upwards...

Man I could say so many things about Fire Emblem: Awakening, but at this point all I really want to share is how brain-scramblingly amazing the soundtrack is. I beat the game last night, and got access to the sound test mode, and have just been listening to it all day at work. SO, I am going to just shamelessly vomit out an assortment of Youtube links to songs here. Be wary of comments and what have you, lest you inadvertently spoil this or that. The song titles are pretty safe though. If any of these links ever end up going down for some reason, you can easily find the songs just by plugging...

The Wii was Nintendo's way of saying "nope" to the presumed rules of the gaming industry. While its competitors screamed ahead in the power race, Nintendo sat on its hands, and decided it wanted to play a different game. And hey, it worked out for them pretty well, if you're the sort who gives two shits about sales numbers. But analysts, enthusiasts, and fatheads throughout the world refused to accept it. "Nope, they're doin' it wrong, why've they gotta be so stupid." And now we're seeing it again with the Wii U. Over time the players in this industry have concocted a set of rules that...

Well, another year has ended, and another winding-down Nintendo console has passed the baton to its successor. The Wii U, Nintendo's new generation console, is now the focus for fans—and something for me to anticipate as I save up to buy my own. As I go forth into 2013, I find myself taking a look back on my way forward, and reflecting on my own past experiences with the Wii. The Wii was the first console I ever stood in a launch day line for. T'was a cold November morning in 2006. A light, sporadic drizzle added to the misery of around a hundred people standing outside Best Buy....

Dear reader, It's getting to be about that time of year. All of us have something to do or somewhere to go, whether it's in front of the TV or down the street, or thousands of miles away. Bein's how we're just a few people who run this site, it's probably best for us to take a little break while we all do our thing. So, startin' now we on vacation. Check back after the New Year for another year of articles, some more crude jokes about kissing fresh babies, plenty of Mouth-On impressions of chalky inedible garbage, angry, disheveled rants about points of minor consequence, and maybe even...

When I was younger I almost never got new games. I had to luck out at the video store with weekend rentals, and I had the Hot Knowledge of Nintendo Tape Magazine to assist me in picks—though with the slim rental choices it more often than not came down to looking at box art. You and I both know that before you put a game on that Christmas list you had to have made damned sure it was an A+++ winner cause you were gonna have to play the hell out of it for the next year. It also just so happens that the years during which I was at the really great Christmas present age were also some...

Maybe it's cause of the kind of person I am—and I'm not saying I am necessarily a whimpering, masochistic weakling who craves being witness to the expert display of the skills and talents of others—but I have always kind of been entranced by storytellers. People who create works for others to experience. But also maybe expert tour-guides? Sketch artists? People with plans, masters of their crafts, no matter how small they are. Sometimes there's this guy down the row who hand-grinds coffee, I just freeze in my seat and listen to it and I feel kinda chills or something, I love it. People stamping...

You know those fancy buttons underneath the left and right sticks on the PlayStation 3 that are called R3 and L3? They don't actually have any names on the Wii U. The in-game documentation via prompts in Nintendo Land and Ninja Gaiden just say "Hold R" with a picture of a stick that has two little arrows above it. I think this is similar to what the 360 does maybe? This shot's from the Internet browser, which has pictures that show the little "press in" arrow. Ninja Gaiden 3 uses a similar graphic. Notably, Nintendo Land never actually shows a picture with an arrow, just says "Press (picture...